Saturday, March 5, 2011

Help Me, Lord, I’m an idiot!

    Ok, so I have your attention now! This tale is a reminder that even when we are demonstrating no use of the brains the good Lord gave us, He is there to help us in our idiocy.
    It was a SNOWY day in mid-March in Kansas.  Blizzards had been predicted all over the state, so I went to bed a bit before my usual midnight, knowing I would have to get up and be at work at 5am to shovel the white stuff.  Our home is 17 miles away from town, so I knew that getting to work might be a challenge in the morning if we got much snow.  So, at 3:30am, I crawled out of a nice warm bed and dressed in layers from head to toe, topping it all of with my insulated overalls, a stocking hat and gloves.  I open the front door and was glad I had the foresight to find the snow shovel and put it inside the door the evening prior, as the snow had all but enveloped the entry way to our home.

    I shoveled a path through 10“-30”  of wet and heavy snow, cleared my car windows, bumpers, headlights, etc., and started it up to get warm.  It is now 4am and I duck back in the house for a cup of coffee for the road.  Turns out there would be no ‘for the road’, but, I am ahead of myself.
      Bambi (our little Honda which had won a battle with a deer on the road last fall) crawled down the driveway and into the road heading North to the highway.  For about 1/3 of a mile, anyway.  At the first low spot in the road, the snow had drifted to a height deeper than the hood of the car, and Bambi slowly ground to a halt.  I backed up, then gave it some gas and tried to bust through the drift, but was met with total resistance. After the third try, I gave up and then realized that not only was I not going forward, but there was no way to go back either.  I could not back up that far in that deep snow, as the wind had already blown the snow till my tracks were no more.   So, I did the only thing I could think of; I drove Bambi off the road into the ditch, turned on the emergency flashers, and began trudging home.  Why didn’t I just leave it on the road you might ask?  Well, Bambi just happens to be white, and in a snowstorm, if someone else came along. . . Well it might not be good!
    Reaching home, I decided to get Moses (my 1977 Chevy C10 pickup) out and give him a try at the snow.  Yeah, right!  The snow had drifted completely over the tires, and being a two wheel drive, poor Moses was not moving.  I realized then that I was not going anywhere and called the boss.  Turns out he couldn’t get out, either, as he lives 10 miles on the other side of town from me.  I went back in, grabbed a cup of coffee and a book and several of our dogs (who were wondering why on earth I had gone out there in the first place) and curled up on the couch.  That lasted a couple of hours, and I couldn’t take it any longer.  I had to get to work, knowing that everyone else was breaking their backs to clear snow and I was home where I was warm and dry just didn’t set well with me. 
    I bundled up again, and, having daylight to help, dug Moses out as best I could, and rejoiced that someone had actually gone down our road since 4am, and their tracks were still there!  So, I took off, thinking that I would stop and turn off the flashers on the Honda to save the battery, then go on in to work.  By the time I reached Bambi, I realized that there was no way I was stopping if I wanted to get started again, so on I went.  As I got to the highway, my heart dropped when I realized that it had not been bladed and I could not see tracks or even the guardrails on the bridge 50 feet away, so I kept going straight praying for a place to turn around.  I kept going, and going, and going, kind of like the energizer bunny stuck on slow motion.  Under the snow was a layer of ice, just enough to make driving tricky, and all I could see was white from horizon to horizon; blinding white with black silhouettes of trees here and there. I continued on and realized that if anyone came the other direction, one of us was in trouble but good!! The snow on either side of me on the road was at least 18” and way deeper where it had drifted.  And so I continued. . . Driving and praying, Lord, please hold the wheel steady, don’t let me slide into the drifts, keep it steady, Lord, Thank You, Lord, for keeping me safe, Lord, I’ve got to find a place to turn around soon.  I’m getting close to the station, Lord, so perhaps I can turn around there.  Again, my heart sank.  Not a soul had stirred there and the parking lot was two to three feet deep in snow. NOT going in there!! Next thing I know, I am at the dam going over the lake. NOW I’m nervous!  There is only the path I have been following along the west lane of the dam road, and the snow is piled up till it obliterates the guardrail on the east lane.  I look over at the lake and it is a steel gray ocean of frozen white caps, dark and foreboding.  I begin praying in more earnest Lord, PLEASE get me across here.  Lord, I know I’m an idiot for getting out in this, and I know you have better things to do than watch out for me in my stupidity, but if you would, please, keep my wheels in the path and give me a gentle push now and then if I begin to get stuck.  Please let there be a place to turn around up ahead somewhere, Please, Lord, forgive me for being so dumb, but thank you for getting me out of this ! 
    And so it went, till I had successfully crossed the dam, and, miracle, (or just a fluke some would say) there, at the north end of the dam, was a spot on the road where there was absolutely no snow whatsoever! It looked like a giant (God?) had blown all the snow and ice from the road right at the end of the dam.  I was able to turn Moses around with no problem at all, and that’s when I realized I had to go back across the dam to get home!!! More prayers and pleading, and thank God, literally, I made it home without ever slipping or sliding or loss of traction whatsoever.  I said a great prayer of thanksgiving to God and proceeded into the house. 
    I spent the rest of the day reading 3 books while curled up on our loveseat in front of a fire and vowed never to repeat this experience again.  Thank the Lord for being a good driver!!!  If we but ask, He will help keep us on the straight and narrow!

1 comment:

  1. A riveting tale my friend! Loved it! God is good, indeed.